Mr Smith and Supertemp
by DictionairyChick
Summary: Ten and Donna have gotten stranded on a lost planet. The hilarity unfolds as they try to find the Doctors lost screwdriver. Prepare for pandemonium!


Hey!

This is set as a stage production (or skit) as this is what I initially wrote it for. I also performed it in front of 150 school chums for the cultural festival at school. I was the doctor (go figure…). It tends to add to the hilarity if you can imagine the doctor on stage doing this

Anyways, this is just a bit of bizarre fun, or maybe a crack fick (Hee hee)

Enjoy!

Chloe 

Mr Smith & Supertemp

_DOCTOR dives on stage as if thrown, door offstage slams shut. At the noise, he looks up from the floor and with a shout scrambles up._

_Doctor:_ No, No, NO!

_He scrambles towards offstage left. _

_Doctor:_ The key's still in there!

_A door is rattled and grappled._

_Doctor: _Oh, come ON!

_A few groans are heard before a flustered looking doctor enters stage right, looking up and around at his surroundings. Looks stage left and groans in frustration, grabbing his head in his hands._

_Doctor: _It wasn't that bad, really! Oh come on, that was nothing compared to the storms you get around the medusa cascade! There were only two dimensions involved with the distortion! _And_ we got out of the void without a scratch!

_Under breath_

Weeeeeeeeeeell, maybe a bit of distortion in the relative projection…

Flipping time warps!

_Paces._

Trust a time storm to upset the TARDIS' mechanics! A Time storm! We can fly through from one end of the space time continuum to the other, squeezing through black holes (and trust me that's quite a squeeze) dodging Daleks and everything else under the stars, but when there's a little drift in the space-time continuum it does a bunk on me!

Honestly, a time storm certainly doesn't warrant this!

Kicked out into… goodness knows where… and _look_. Great. No screwdriver, TARDIS' locked me out, and I'm lost! The last of the time lords lost!

And… hang on where's Donna?

_Yells_ DONNA! DONNA?

_Sighs._

Should be round here somewhere, she can't have been teleported too far…

_Looks around_

Where is this?

_Scoops up some dirt off the floor and tastes it._

Hmm, organic compounds, and… weird! Plutonium and Einsteinium! Both in the first stratospheric layer!

_Looks up to the sky._

Brilliant!

_Sighs and sits down._

By now my screwdriver could be half way to the Satan's pit for all I know… or _worse,_ it could have been stolen by a Dalek!

_Screws up face_

Nothing like a Dalek with something sonic to screw up your day…

_Donna suddenly enters stage right, looking breathless._

_Donna:_ YOU!

_Doctor:_ Ah, hello Donna! Was wondering when you'd show up!

_Donna: looks around_

Where the bloody hell have you taken me now? What are we doing _here_?

_Doctor:_ We got caught up in a time storm somewhere near the asteroid belt-

_Donna: sarcastically:_

Wait, a time storm? How are you supposed to be able to have a storm in time?

_Doctor: _People usually think of time as a linear regression of cause to effect, but from a non-linear non-subjective viewpoint, time is really a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey…stuff…

And anyway, the TARDIS doesn't like time storms, silly git, so it landed here and locked us out. As for where here is exactly…

_Investigates__ the stage props_

I'm not completely sure; I was hoping to figure that out before you got here. Kinda looks like planet…

_Inspects__ a trash can and wrinkles nose_

Exonet… or maybe… Clom…

_Stops, and almost to himself,_

Wait, no; the sky's the wrong colour… looks more like…

_Gasps in horror_

Sudopler III…

_Donna_: What? What happens if it's Sudopler III?

_Doctor_: Imagine how _bad_ things could possibly get, and then add a whole other suitcase full of _bad. _

_Donna: _What? Why?

_Doctor:_ It's the Sontaron holiday destination.

_Groans in frustration_

This is_ exactly _why I need my screwdriver! IfI_ had _it I could use sometrans-temporal extrapolation methods to neutralize the residual electronic pattern, and effectively-

_Donna_: In English please?

_Doctor:_ Sorry, didn't want to say "magic the TARDIS door open to get us out of here"

_Donna: looking around_

Well so what are we gonna do now?

_Doctor:_ I've got to find my screwdriver. You, in the meantime, could try pleading with the TARDIS to let us in. Might work.

_Donna: Sarcastically:_ Oh yeah, just brilliant!

_Doctor tinkers around, tasting some props, much to Donnas incredulous expre__ssion, and muttering about trans- temporal shifts. _

_Pulls out a stuffed dog_

Wait a second… This is Sarah-Jane's first K9 prototype… it's been lost for years! No-one, not even me could find it… like it just disappeared from the time-space continuum…

_Shows Donna._

What's it doing here, with the rest of this junk…?

_Reaches in and pulls out some junk from a trunk, strewing it over the stage…_

Gloves? Lost childhood teddies, blankies, old lockets and… bananas?

_Pulls off glasses dramatically as he does when having made a great discovery._

_Doctor: _ Oh, YES!!! But wait-

_Stops and__ gesticulates randomly, torn between a million thoughts whirring around that head of his, before brushing it off and running off stage left_

_TARDIS door is grappled, a side latch is unlocked and the doctor talks over the scuffling of pulling out something heavy_

_Donna: _Doctor! What on earth are you doing? What's going on?

_Doctor: _Just a… minute…

_Donna: O_h no you don't! You tell me what's going on this instance!

_Doctor appears on stage left trailing a stereo thingy grinning_

Just a future word of advice: if you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver... don't let him near the sound system.

_Donna:_ Yeah, figures…

_He sets it on the ground, and scans the dog. With a look of glee, he also scans the other items_

_Doctor:_ YES! It is!

_Donna:_ What is?

Doctor: judging by the tetramorphosing sonatrabinging images resonating from these-

_Looks at Donna_

Oh, right, English…Lucky I had this resonance grapher in my handy TARDIS side compartment, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to figure it out. We must be on the lost moon of Poosh!

_Donna: outraged:_ lost moon o what?

_Doctor:_ Poosh, Donna, Poosh! The lost moon of Poosh is legendary for its mystical properties… its virtually the sinkhole of the entire universe, every lost belonging that stays lost for too long ends up getting somehow teleported here… much like those tip things, you never know what you'll find there on a good day! But that's what makes the lost moon of Poosh so, well…mystical. It's… lost. That's sort of the point. But _we _found it!

_Donna…_

_Doctor, excitedly jumping about, rummaging._

Which means chances are that my sonic screwdriver ended up somewhere here…

_Donna suddenly feels a bulge in her shirt._

Donna: What's this...?

_Pulls out screwdriver._

_Doctor turns and sees it, then grabs it from a stunned Donna._

_Doctor:_ GRRREAAAT! Thanks Donna! Now we can ace this place… whoops, sorry, been watching reruns of Kim Possible a tad too long…

_Stoops over and grabs a banana, twirling it in his fingers_

_Doctor:_ Oh and Donna, always take a banana to the party, bananas are good.

_They go offstage left, Donna shaking her head and the TARDIS leaves._

The end


End file.
